Sunday, December 26, 2010

"then he caught hold of me"

on Wednesday Kurt and I finally had a much needed together-day--after our first semester together--it was time for a Christmas break, and a break from Christmas even. . .well all the hulabaloo anyway--.

We went to see Chronicles of Narnia and I remembered why we worked so well. . .everytime Aslan came on the screen, as silly as it sounds, we both just let the tears run. Isn't it funny that a sweet old children's story can tear at your heart that way? i love the passage in the Dawn Treader book, in which Eustace discovers that he must be transformed not by himself but by Aslan. I remembered my dear Elena friend reading this passage aloud at some point, and when I saw it on the big screen the importance of the moment, as well as its meaning, came flooding back to me.  Though we try and try to transform ourselves, scrape away our ugliness, refine and reform, it is to no avail unless Jesus is also a part of this transformation. I can't say it better than C.S. himself (go figure) so if you care to get lost in a little Children's magic, and Christmas magic, read on :

love and merriest of 26th of Decembers,
em

Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg. So I scratched away for the third time and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.

The the lion said - but I don't know if it spoke - 'You will have to let me undress you.' I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

The very first tear he made was do deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know - if you've ever picked the scab of a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away.

Well, he peele the beastly stuff right off - just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt - and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there was Ias smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me - I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on - and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I'd turned into a boy again. You'd think me simply phoney if I told you how I felt about my own arms. I know they've no muscle and are pretty mouldy compared with Caspian's, but I was so glad to see them.



Thursday, December 9, 2010

ring-a-ling

Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack, a crack in everything

That's how the light gets in.
-"Anthem" by Leonard Cohen

Saturday, November 27, 2010

blue over you

i have had an extremely HAPPY thanksgiving.  From eating with the sweet and FUN nelson clan, to traveling to Tupelo to spend quality time with the Haadsmas, my holiday break could not have been any more priceless.  I saw dear friends Allie and Elena on Friday and was reminded of how special friendship is. I ate delicious food, played a few board games, and now I am getting ready to head back in the morning.

Even though traveling can be tiring, driving from here and there, packing and unpacking, there is nothing like being refreshed by those you love. 

Right now my mom is playing the piano, which she does only this time of the year. .  .which makes me cry.  I was thinking the other day how awesome music is and how it can completely change the mood.  So I decided to make a top five soundtrack of the songs that are so wonderful that you can't help to tear up. . .in a good way of course.  I will try and follow it up some time with songs that you cannot have a bad day to.  Perhaps for that blog post you should check out www.blogspot.com/allthisjoyful . :-) Hart is always sunny.

1. Judy Garland in "Meet Me in St. Louis" sings a rendition of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" that makes me weep.
2. The Grand Pas from the Nutcracker, made even more beautiful by the prima ballerinas themselves.

3.  "Make You Feel My Love" by Adele. . .I remember Beef let me listen to her one night in the Go and I rediscovered her recently.  LOVE that type of passion.

4. "Landslide" Stevie Nicks. . .reflective and poignant / "Butteryfly Kisses" It's a TIE.  Granted, it is a little cheesy but you have to admit they are tear jerkers.

5. Mr. Harris singing anything, especially "The Circle Game." Still gets me even thinking about it. 

Anything I left out? much love-em

Saturday, November 13, 2010

grateful

wow! who knew i could be so behind on my posts! the past few weekends have been amazing time spent with family and friends. i truly needed that relaxation and familiarity.  i have so many wonderful people in my life and i am just wow blessed by them.  each one of my friends and family members are unique and different which i love.  i feel like without all of y'all i am a little incomplete!

no words

fun

comfort

honesty &  acceptance & understanding

laughter & encouragement

can't tell where i stop and they begin

gingerness and sass

never two kinder people in the world

joy

adventure

hope (for a snow day)

always there
and these were just a few pictures. i had to stop because my sentiment was taking over & i was about to turn a happy moment into a tear fest! ah! so blessed and so grateful and i wish that i could wake up to a house ful of these people every morning!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

harmony

While you're browsing the internet, listen to this song by one of my fall favorites, "Ingrid Michaelson."  I have listened to this song on repeat to and from the ballet studio for about 1 week straight! It's the harmony.  Can't get enough of that harmony!




"Giving Up" - Ingrid Michaelson

Sunday, October 24, 2010

oh happy. . .

bid day is the next part of that statement. that is always how i feel on this sunday of all sundays. i feel like that sunday couldn't have gotten here any faster, been any longer time coming, and now it has come and gone and i wasn't in the big white house. 

its funny when something become familiar to you, and you don't even realize it? kind of like that corny chris rice song, "when did you fall in love with me" . . .(corny but i didn't say i didn't love it) . sometimes you can't pinpoint the moment you fell in love, felt familiar, when a friend becomes a family member, when a new place becomes the normal place, when a sorority becomes your life/best friends/family. you can't pinpoint the moment it happened.  all you know is that it did.

and what's more:

1. you're very glad it happened.

2.and you've tapped into that place of "some things never change." oh i love that place. i love, love, love that familiar feeling.

i wish i was back to that bid day. but i know that one of these days i will be.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

june 18th here we come

it has been way too long since writing on my blog, and so much has happened since i last posted.  my dear friend HART got engaged a few Saturdays back. i could not be happier for her and her fiance chad.  they are truly a special couple and love to have fun together, run together, eat together, hang out with friends together.  they love to do things together and BE together! i really appreciate that about them and know that they are excited to be stepping into this new phase of life together. 


Thats me with my beautiful room-mate at heart, Hart.  she was the homecoming queen at Ole Miss.  she's kind of a big deal, people. :-) i cannot WAIT to watch her walk down the aisle towards her man.  it's going to be a fun, exciting, emotional journey i guarentee.  because if there's one thing Hart knows how to do, it's how to truly live.

i would like to share a few snippets of memories of them both.  some of them won't make much sense to anyone who was not "there" and i hate to be that way, but they are unforgettable to me, and i just have to put them into words.

-hart coming home after her first date with chad. they had danced. he was good. she was thrilled.
-chad dressing up like hart at the dg house to try and not get caught in the ruf game of assasins.  chad is a very very handsome guy, but not a very pretty girl. i am pretty sure he can take that as a compliment?
-my dad insisting that there should be a http://www.chadberry.com/ because its just way to good of a name to not have a personal domain.
-chad immediately called me "Em" from day one. which i always like, because it makes me feel like i have known that person for always.
-hart decorating my car for no reason other than it was my birthday.
-hart coming in after a fun date with chad and whispering at my closed eyes to see if i was awake.
-after their super great mountain-bike date, she knew she was going to marry him, and if he had proposed then she probably would have said yes immediately.
-hart celebrating every test, moment, good thing, positive attitude at each and every chance she gets.  she has a way of truly celebrating the small things
-the night that chad came and danced with beef and i to "let me be your hero baby"
-hart and i having spend the night parties at ryan and chad's house while they weren't home. . .just to get off of campus and out of the craziness
-moving with beef to the go and singing "i'm moving out" to the tune of "i'm coming out" at the top of our lungs.
-celebrating the year of the white dress in 2010 and again in 2011.

here's to you two berry people. :-)


love and best wishes to you my hartress!!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

happy october.  this is my brother baby dave.  he is not a baby in anymore but he is still my little brother.  he is awesome & so smart!

there is nothing like a michgian fall.  i can still smell all those leaves, dry and crackled in my backyard.  back then you could jump in and never even touch the dry grass.  the leaves just swallowed us up, got in our mouths and tasted like a burnt to a crisp marshmellow. 

Monday, September 27, 2010

blast from the past


i have been feeling very nostalgic lately! that is me being nostalgic above. (in actuallity i was probably checking my text messages but we will just say i am in the process of reflecting).

 i don't know if it is the change of seasons or what, but suddenly i feel myself moving backward in time instead of forward! with the rush of wedding bliss/graduating school/moving to jackson i got on a treadmill that constantly spun forward, pushing me on and on to the next "big thing." enjoying every minute of course, but getting a little treadmill tired.  lucky for you i stopped the treadmill... 

i have unhooked myself from that weird little emergency card you are supposed to wear

and am planning on taking a healthy step backwards.  just giving you a little warning so that you won't be surprised to see some exciting scanned photos from yesteryear next time you log on.  here's to a wonderful life both forwards and backwards and in the moment and every tiny second in between.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

testing 1 2 3

this week Kurt has tests so it is his long week--you know how test weeks are.  He sits in the chair and pretty much has his noise blocking head phones on and studies...some say study, i kind of felt like he was ignoring me, personally.



Now i wasn't upset, I knew, (as he likes to remind me) when I met him of his love for school, his passion for studying. . .basically i knew he was a nerd. :-) (sorry Kurt) but that has been something I have always known about him.  but it is one thing to think about marrying someone who is constantly mentally elsewhere and actually marrying someone who is mentally elsewhere.  occassionally he will shout "Hey Emily. . .will you make me some coffee??" (Remember they are noise blocking earphones.  )

And I am soooo sweetie that I reply, yes I will but let me finish what I'm doing.  (It kind of reminds me of Ella Enchanted who had to do whatever anyone said, but not WHEN they said to do it? Haha.)

At any rate let's just say not as cheerful as I should be.

The TWIST
Then I find out I have to have this little heart proceedure done. It is not a big deal, basically outpatient, but it has been time consuming and I have had to visit many a doctor.  I will have to go in and let one doctor put me to sleep while another man looks at my heart using technology that I don't understand and fixes a defect I didn't know I had...

And

Today I had a revelation.  I feel like perhaps, just perhaps, God has thrown this wrench in my life at this time (during test week mind you) so that I can understand FIRST HAND the importance of GOOD DOCTORS.  I  mean, don't you WANT your doctor to know everything there is to know, to sit in his chair and study constantly, if there is a question don't you WANT him to find the answer, if there is a problem, don't you WANT him to be able to solve it? Kind of makes you want to say, "Everyone be quiet, leave him alone, he is doing very important work over there!!"  or "Leave him alone, wifey, make him his coffee and give him his brain food.  Some day down the road he's going to need this stuff and it may be a life threatening situation!!"

I know K will be a great doctor.  I know that whoever is lucky and patient enough to be his patient will be in the best hands in the world. But of course, we already all are in God's hands.  He loves us and wants to take care of us.  So  not only is medical school important, or being a understanding wife, etc, but being an individual who is willing to surrender to people who are doing their jobs the best way they know how, trying to serve 100 % of themselves to their patients/customers/students/coworkers.  Too often I only see Kurt as my husband, but I also want to remember to see Kurt as your doctor.  I'm going to make that cup of coffee now, so that he will remember what he needs to know, when you need him to know it.

Love you.
Em






Friday, September 17, 2010

refreshing.


ive decided that thats the word i want to be. it is my new goal to be refreshing. that's all. a refreshingly short post.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

ode to husband

i could live by myself
in a bungalow for one
away on an island
alone in the sun
relaxing all day
with a book in my hand
i'd dream and i'd draw
hearts in the sand

i could live with him
in an apartment for two
with a floor full of books
and a closet without shoes
the shoes they would lay
about on the floor
despite all the opening
and closing of doors

i could live by myself
in a suite in paris
with a kitchen filled with fruit
and a pot filled with tea
i would shop in girl shops
buying parasols and such
impractical things
never to use much
but it would be fun and
no one would care
if my style and
my life were very tres cher. 

i could live with him
in an apartment for two
with dishes meant for washing
laundry, clothes, too.
With talking real loud
with a booming strong voice
i could live with him
in all of that noise.
With a bed never made
unless its by me &
with the sink filled with food
he thought i wouldn't see. . .

From red meat and sports
I would rarely depart
but without all of this
i would have half a heart.

my heart that gave up on living
for just me
my heart that gave up on a
suite in paris
no bungalow for one
no peace to be found
but in the apartment for two
there is joy all around. 
i'll take it.
that's mine.
sold, sealed and signed.
no turning back now
there's no changing my mind.
give me that joy.
i'll drink it all up.
your love i'll take it
in that giant coffee cup.

Monday, August 23, 2010

teachable me


for the first time in many years, today was NOT my first day of school. no backpack, no snack packed, no new outfit, no jitters, no sleepless night before.  nope schooling is OVER and DONE. . .but is the teaching?

this is the spirit I have pondered for the past few days.  Dear friend LYDIA RICE sent an email regarding the new things she is doing in Peru, and how she "prays for a teachable spirit." WOW! That really made me think if my spirit was teachable or not. If you know me, you know that I have a set way of doing things.  It doesnt always make sense but its comfortable.  The EM I am is comfortable the way she is.  Change?  No thanks! You're going to correct me?? Tell me you're kidding.  Show me how to do it and I will smile and nod, and then do it my way.  WHY is that?? Wow we have really hit on something here, and I'm not sure if I like it!

So today I pondered that teachable spirit.  And at lunch I noticed a new waitress tagging along with an experienced waiter, and at WalMart of all the places, my cashier volunteered that today, was his first day! I said, first day? Really?  That must be challenging.  First days are always rough!  He said, "Yep, but its just one of those things everybody's got to go through." It sounded to me like he had a teachable spirit, a spirit willing and ready to learn. 

My new friend Barbara, introduced to me by those wonderful Ferris-es, said to me, "Life is always changing."  How true.  With change comes new things, (as discussed a few posts back) and with new things comes LEARNING.  No matter how old we are, let us never stop learning.  Me especially.  And even though I am not going to my first day of school with my lacy socks and a bow in my hair, I am pretty sure I am learning more now than I ever had.  Thank you to a God who never gives up on our capacity to learn, and Lord, please grant me a teachable spirit.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

good words

I got a couple dents in my fender

Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
And on my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me

"Free to be me" lyrics

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

oh this is the start

of something good, don't you agree.
i haven't felt like this in so many moons
you know what i mean?

Obviously, those words are Gavin's and not my own, but I can't stop singing them in my head.  I haven't felt like this in sooooo many moons.  I feel settled.  I feel all "here." I feel hopeful, excited, just content. ? Did I really just say that?



baby-ballet began on Monday, and finally I had a purpose! a job. and it felt so good. i walked into a studio filled with little pink leotards and skirts, staring at me like I was part Amazon woman-part princess.  (probably more amazon than princess.) and i looked at them like they were little pink christmas gifts.  they probably sensed my over-enthusiasm and were slightly frightened, but all in all we had a good time.  We shuffled, hopped, heeled, boogie-woogied, stomped on bugs, reached for stars, picked flowers, apples, pretended we were giraffes. basically, a baby ballet teacher is called to all out humiliate herself while sixteen six year olds watch.  but at the same time, these little tykes don't care about my hair, my voice, my mistakes, my short comings as a teacher. . .they are innocent in every sense!



i thought about an  adage that I look at every day (thanks to my laura hall friend) but rarely STOP to think about: "DANCE LIKE NOBODY IS WATCHING. . ." Dancing for me is something i do for myself.  its just for me.  its the opposite mindset of a performer, really.  I don't care if you watch me or not, like it or not, if im doing it wrong or not, i have nothing to lose and nobody cares.  I used to dance because somebody wanted to, but now its just fun because i do it for me.  not for anyone else.

I think everyone needs something like this, that they do ONLY FOR THEMSELVES.  I don't see this as selfish, i see it as sensible.  If each person had one enjoyable, only-for-me, don't care who sees it, reads it, hears it, "comments" on it, re-peats it, thing in their lfe, then we would all be a little LESS selfish, and "free-er givers" when push came to shove, or where it really counts.  i know that THAT is true for me. 





so heres to GAVIN and that something in your life. "start it new today" and don't look over your shoulder to see who is watching you dance. just enjoy it and celebrate the gifts and talents God has given you, me, and everyone, and let that be enough. 

Monday, August 16, 2010

Matt 6


"Learn from the way the wildflowers grow.  They do not work or spin.  But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.  If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the wind tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?"

Saturday, August 14, 2010

blender magic

so i was using my blender the other day (susie homemaker, i know) but i couldn't get it to work.


all my contents were souping up in the blending pitcher, and i was frantically pushing a button that said "STIR," "STIR!"  Okay, really blender.  Now it is time for you to "STIR!"  You are plugged in you silly appliance, why will you not "STIR!"

Can you guess what is coming next?

The "ON" button was not lit. 

This is my life sometimes. One step ahead and forgetting the power. . .promising to come back later to fill up, power up, relax, if and only if I can just get the smoothie made.  But in all this frustration, the smoothie no longer tastes good because I have SUCKED the fun right out of it in the process of trying to do. 

Lord, please help me to remember that the joy is in the process of making smoothies, making mistakes, and growing closer to you.  And please help me to power up before moving forward.

Love me.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

recent kurtisms

just thought i would share some of these silly things with a few friends.  this is what i live with. . . this is who i love:

"i think i'm going to get a p.o. box of my own. . .not because I need one, just because it would be cool."

"emily, do we have any vinegar?  i need to do a quick 5th grade science experiment."

"do you think that God finds out that the Duggars are pregnant again and says, "Man, do I have to come up with a new face for these people?"

"emily made me get a cat. . ."is kitty baby being sweetie?"

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

pen pals

method to my madness!

welcome to Emily-world where making cost effective button magnets and baking her 4th batch of sugar cookies is infinitely more important than oil changes and cooking dinner!  i wouln't call it all out procrastinating, but there are definitely some rules & boundaries i disobey in my own way. so take a walk on the wild side with me. 


buttons = 1.96 for three cutie ones.  and then i bought some circle magnets, 50 for 5.97!  then i used my secret weapon. . .pictured here: (not so secret anymore)



and voila! here we have a very functional kitchen item! makes every fridge happy and took approximately 10 minutes.

Monday, August 9, 2010

home suite home


THANKS MOM!

Leave it to her to make me feel more at home in my home!  Love the new sign custom made by a friend. Welcome to the NELSONS!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

STRAWBERRY smoothie


my family came to visit Kurt & I today! Well, actually it was just a part of my family: Mom, Dad, and Amy.  We had the best time riding around Jackson.  Showed them the ballet studio and the Renaissance shopping center, definitely two of my favorite spots in town.  I have been so glad to have visitors lately. 

at any rate, i made them strawberry smoothies, because after a long day of driving in the big, white, van. . .i knew they would be wanting something!

4 cups of vanilla yogurt
2 cups of orange juice
4 bananas, cut into pieces
2 cups of frozen strawberries

blend together and "voila"

strawberry smoothies and happy family.

headed to the beach tomorrow (got to love a speed beach trip with K!)
much love.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Trivial Tuesdays


K & I have been having a great time in our new home.  It has pretty much consisted of hanging out with our kitten, Piper,


video

 (we are obsessed, I know), fixing up the apartment, attempting to cook, making coffee, making sonic runs (with our cat) and recieiving the occasional visitor like Beef, Lindsey, or Anne. So.....

Tuesday nights are our night on the town! At Hal & Mals you can play trivia for a mere 2$/person and it is so much fun. . .well, it is fun for Kurt & his friends.  I pretty much sit there and doodle pictures on my napkin.  Which is very important.  I am considered "moral support" by the guys.  They are all so smart about such ridiculous things!!  Comics, the Monty Python Movies, Bones in the Body, names in the news, and they can decode any type of phobia because of their extensive latin knowledge.  I am so stunned by how much they know combined!!

My one contribution, which I am very proud of, is always related to the BACHELORETTE.  I know, shameful.  But very, very entertaining, none-the-less.  :-)  I think if one were to look up "guilty pleasure" in the dictionary.  One would find The Bachelorette maybe, and most DEFINITELY "bachelor pad."

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Same Kind of Different

Just finished reading this book.  It has been recommended to me by many friends!  I remember Morgan loving it a while back & Elena recently loaned me her copy.  I have been pretty much in love with the story.  Aren't books amazing?  Think about it, what else lasts many, many, many years and has the capability to reach thousands of different people from completely different backgrounds!

That's another good reason to blog.  Comfort and encouragement can be found in words over and over again, especially words from your friends.  Here are a few quote from this book that I want to post on a sticky-note and wear it on my head. Or write it on a t-shirt.  Whatever.


"Our limitation is God's opportunity"

"I'm just a nobody trying to tell everybody about a Somebody who can save anybody."

"What must befall thee must befall thee, and what will pass ye by will pass ye by."

All three of these quotes come from Denver Moore in the story.  He is a true-life character who came from Louisiana cotton fields to being homeless in Ft. Worth Texas.  His attitude and perspective on life is AMAZING.  He is wise and his words put my life and my silly worries in perspective!  Thank you Elena for letting me borrow this book!

And afterall, we are all the "same kind of different." Think about it!