Monday, September 27, 2010

blast from the past

i have been feeling very nostalgic lately! that is me being nostalgic above. (in actuallity i was probably checking my text messages but we will just say i am in the process of reflecting).

 i don't know if it is the change of seasons or what, but suddenly i feel myself moving backward in time instead of forward! with the rush of wedding bliss/graduating school/moving to jackson i got on a treadmill that constantly spun forward, pushing me on and on to the next "big thing." enjoying every minute of course, but getting a little treadmill tired.  lucky for you i stopped the treadmill... 

i have unhooked myself from that weird little emergency card you are supposed to wear

and am planning on taking a healthy step backwards.  just giving you a little warning so that you won't be surprised to see some exciting scanned photos from yesteryear next time you log on.  here's to a wonderful life both forwards and backwards and in the moment and every tiny second in between.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

testing 1 2 3

this week Kurt has tests so it is his long week--you know how test weeks are.  He sits in the chair and pretty much has his noise blocking head phones on and studies...some say study, i kind of felt like he was ignoring me, personally.

Now i wasn't upset, I knew, (as he likes to remind me) when I met him of his love for school, his passion for studying. . .basically i knew he was a nerd. :-) (sorry Kurt) but that has been something I have always known about him.  but it is one thing to think about marrying someone who is constantly mentally elsewhere and actually marrying someone who is mentally elsewhere.  occassionally he will shout "Hey Emily. . .will you make me some coffee??" (Remember they are noise blocking earphones.  )

And I am soooo sweetie that I reply, yes I will but let me finish what I'm doing.  (It kind of reminds me of Ella Enchanted who had to do whatever anyone said, but not WHEN they said to do it? Haha.)

At any rate let's just say not as cheerful as I should be.

Then I find out I have to have this little heart proceedure done. It is not a big deal, basically outpatient, but it has been time consuming and I have had to visit many a doctor.  I will have to go in and let one doctor put me to sleep while another man looks at my heart using technology that I don't understand and fixes a defect I didn't know I had...


Today I had a revelation.  I feel like perhaps, just perhaps, God has thrown this wrench in my life at this time (during test week mind you) so that I can understand FIRST HAND the importance of GOOD DOCTORS.  I  mean, don't you WANT your doctor to know everything there is to know, to sit in his chair and study constantly, if there is a question don't you WANT him to find the answer, if there is a problem, don't you WANT him to be able to solve it? Kind of makes you want to say, "Everyone be quiet, leave him alone, he is doing very important work over there!!"  or "Leave him alone, wifey, make him his coffee and give him his brain food.  Some day down the road he's going to need this stuff and it may be a life threatening situation!!"

I know K will be a great doctor.  I know that whoever is lucky and patient enough to be his patient will be in the best hands in the world. But of course, we already all are in God's hands.  He loves us and wants to take care of us.  So  not only is medical school important, or being a understanding wife, etc, but being an individual who is willing to surrender to people who are doing their jobs the best way they know how, trying to serve 100 % of themselves to their patients/customers/students/coworkers.  Too often I only see Kurt as my husband, but I also want to remember to see Kurt as your doctor.  I'm going to make that cup of coffee now, so that he will remember what he needs to know, when you need him to know it.

Love you.

Friday, September 17, 2010


ive decided that thats the word i want to be. it is my new goal to be refreshing. that's all. a refreshingly short post.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

ode to husband

i could live by myself
in a bungalow for one
away on an island
alone in the sun
relaxing all day
with a book in my hand
i'd dream and i'd draw
hearts in the sand

i could live with him
in an apartment for two
with a floor full of books
and a closet without shoes
the shoes they would lay
about on the floor
despite all the opening
and closing of doors

i could live by myself
in a suite in paris
with a kitchen filled with fruit
and a pot filled with tea
i would shop in girl shops
buying parasols and such
impractical things
never to use much
but it would be fun and
no one would care
if my style and
my life were very tres cher. 

i could live with him
in an apartment for two
with dishes meant for washing
laundry, clothes, too.
With talking real loud
with a booming strong voice
i could live with him
in all of that noise.
With a bed never made
unless its by me &
with the sink filled with food
he thought i wouldn't see. . .

From red meat and sports
I would rarely depart
but without all of this
i would have half a heart.

my heart that gave up on living
for just me
my heart that gave up on a
suite in paris
no bungalow for one
no peace to be found
but in the apartment for two
there is joy all around. 
i'll take it.
that's mine.
sold, sealed and signed.
no turning back now
there's no changing my mind.
give me that joy.
i'll drink it all up.
your love i'll take it
in that giant coffee cup.