oh happy. . .

bid day is the next part of that statement. that is always how i feel on this sunday of all sundays. i feel like that sunday couldn't have gotten here any faster, been any longer time coming, and now it has come and gone and i wasn't in the big white house. 

its funny when something become familiar to you, and you don't even realize it? kind of like that corny chris rice song, "when did you fall in love with me" . . .(corny but i didn't say i didn't love it) . sometimes you can't pinpoint the moment you fell in love, felt familiar, when a friend becomes a family member, when a new place becomes the normal place, when a sorority becomes your life/best friends/family. you can't pinpoint the moment it happened.  all you know is that it did.

and what's more:

1. you're very glad it happened.

2.and you've tapped into that place of "some things never change." oh i love that place. i love, love, love that familiar feeling.

i wish i was back to that bid day. but i know that one of these days i will be.

june 18th here we come

it has been way too long since writing on my blog, and so much has happened since i last posted.  my dear friend HART got engaged a few Saturdays back. i could not be happier for her and her fiance chad.  they are truly a special couple and love to have fun together, run together, eat together, hang out with friends together.  they love to do things together and BE together! i really appreciate that about them and know that they are excited to be stepping into this new phase of life together. 

Thats me with my beautiful room-mate at heart, Hart.  she was the homecoming queen at Ole Miss.  she's kind of a big deal, people. :-) i cannot WAIT to watch her walk down the aisle towards her man.  it's going to be a fun, exciting, emotional journey i guarentee.  because if there's one thing Hart knows how to do, it's how to truly live.

i would like to share a few snippets of memories of them both.  some of them won't make much sense to anyone who was not "there" and i hate to be that way, but they are unforgettable to me, and i just have to put them into words.

-hart coming home after her first date with chad. they had danced. he was good. she was thrilled.

-chad dressing up like hart at the dg house to try and not get caught in the ruf game of assasins.  chad is a very very handsome guy, but not a very pretty girl. i am pretty sure he can take that as a compliment?

-my dad insisting that there should be a http://www.chadberry.com/ because its just way to good of a name to not have a personal domain.

-chad immediately called me "Em" from day one. which i always like, because it makes me feel like i have known that person for always.

-hart decorating my car for no reason other than it was my birthday.

-hart coming in after a fun date with chad and whispering at my closed eyes to see if i was awake.

-after their super great mountain-bike date, she knew she was going to marry him, and if he had proposed then she probably would have said yes immediately.

-hart celebrating every test, moment, good thing, positive attitude at each and every chance she gets.  she has a way of truly celebrating the small things

-the night that chad came and danced with beef and i to "let me be your hero baby"

-hart and i having spend the night parties at ryan and chad's house while they weren't home. . .just to get off of campus and out of the craziness

-moving with beef to the go and singing "i'm moving out" to the tune of "i'm coming out" at the top of our lungs.

-celebrating the year of the white dress in 2010 and again in 2011.

here's to you two berry people. :-)

love and best wishes to you my hartress!!

happy october.  this is my brother baby dave.  he is not a baby in anymore but he is still my little brother.  he is awesome & so smart!

there is nothing like a michgian fall.  i can still smell all those leaves, dry and crackled in my backyard.  back then you could jump in and never even touch the dry grass.  the leaves just swallowed us up, got in our mouths and tasted like a burnt to a crisp marshmellow. 

blast from the past

i have been feeling very nostalgic lately! that is me being nostalgic above. (in actuallity i was probably checking my text messages but we will just say i am in the process of reflecting).

 i don't know if it is the change of seasons or what, but suddenly i feel myself moving backward in time instead of forward! with the rush of wedding bliss/graduating school/moving to jackson i got on a treadmill that constantly spun forward, pushing me on and on to the next "big thing." enjoying every minute of course, but getting a little treadmill tired.  lucky for you i stopped the treadmill... 

i have unhooked myself from that weird little emergency card you are supposed to wear

and am planning on taking a healthy step backwards.  just giving you a little warning so that you won't be surprised to see some exciting scanned photos from yesteryear next time you log on.  here's to a wonderful life both forwards and backwards and in the moment and every tiny second in between.

testing 1 2 3

this week Kurt has tests so it is his long week--you know how test weeks are.  He sits in the chair and pretty much has his noise blocking head phones on and studies...some say study, i kind of felt like he was ignoring me, personally.

Now i wasn't upset, I knew, (as he likes to remind me) when I met him of his love for school, his passion for studying. . .basically i knew he was a nerd. :-) (sorry Kurt) but that has been something I have always known about him.  but it is one thing to think about marrying someone who is constantly mentally elsewhere and actually marrying someone who is mentally elsewhere.  occassionally he will shout "Hey Emily. . .will you make me some coffee??" (Remember they are noise blocking earphones.  )

And I am soooo sweetie that I reply, yes I will but let me finish what I'm doing.  (It kind of reminds me of Ella Enchanted who had to do whatever anyone said, but not WHEN they said to do it? Haha.)

At any rate let's just say not as cheerful as I should be.

The TWIST
Then I find out I have to have this little heart proceedure done. It is not a big deal, basically outpatient, but it has been time consuming and I have had to visit many a doctor.  I will have to go in and let one doctor put me to sleep while another man looks at my heart using technology that I don't understand and fixes a defect I didn't know I had...

And

Today I had a revelation.  I feel like perhaps, just perhaps, God has thrown this wrench in my life at this time (during test week mind you) so that I can understand FIRST HAND the importance of GOOD DOCTORS.  I  mean, don't you WANT your doctor to know everything there is to know, to sit in his chair and study constantly, if there is a question don't you WANT him to find the answer, if there is a problem, don't you WANT him to be able to solve it? Kind of makes you want to say, "Everyone be quiet, leave him alone, he is doing very important work over there!!"  or "Leave him alone, wifey, make him his coffee and give him his brain food.  Some day down the road he's going to need this stuff and it may be a life threatening situation!!"

I know K will be a great doctor.  I know that whoever is lucky and patient enough to be his patient will be in the best hands in the world. But of course, we already all are in God's hands.  He loves us and wants to take care of us.  So  not only is medical school important, or being a understanding wife, etc, but being an individual who is willing to surrender to people who are doing their jobs the best way they know how, trying to serve 100 % of themselves to their patients/customers/students/coworkers.  Too often I only see Kurt as my husband, but I also want to remember to see Kurt as your doctor.  I'm going to make that cup of coffee now, so that he will remember what he needs to know, when you need him to know it.

Love you.
Em



refreshing.

ive decided that thats the word i want to be. it is my new goal to be refreshing. that's all. a refreshingly short post.

ode to husband

i could live by myself
in a bungalow for one
away on an island
alone in the sun
relaxing all day
with a book in my hand
i'd dream and i'd draw
hearts in the sand

i could live with him
in an apartment for two
with a floor full of books
and a closet without shoes
the shoes they would lay
about on the floor
despite all the opening
and closing of doors

i could live by myself
in a suite in paris
with a kitchen filled with fruit
and a pot filled with tea
i would shop in girl shops
buying parasols and such
impractical things
never to use much
but it would be fun and
no one would care
if my style and
my life were very tres cher. 

i could live with him
in an apartment for two
with dishes meant for washing
laundry, clothes, too.
With talking real loud
with a booming strong voice
i could live with him
in all of that noise.
With a bed never made
unless its by me &
with the sink filled with food
he thought i wouldn't see. . .

From red meat and sports
I would rarely depart
but without all of this
i would have half a heart.

my heart that gave up on living
for just me
my heart that gave up on a
suite in paris
no bungalow for one
no peace to be found
but in the apartment for two
there is joy all around. 
i'll take it.
that's mine.
sold, sealed and signed.
no turning back now
there's no changing my mind.
give me that joy.
i'll drink it all up.
your love i'll take it
in that giant coffee cup.