listenin to. . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-kJc3iuE_M

This song is pumpin' me up right now! Woo! Go Toby.
Check it ouuuutttt. 

Same Kind of Different

Just finished reading this book.  It has been recommended to me by many friends!  I remember Morgan loving it a while back & Elena recently loaned me her copy.  I have been pretty much in love with the story.  Aren't books amazing?  Think about it, what else lasts many, many, many years and has the capability to reach thousands of different people from completely different backgrounds!

That's another good reason to blog.  Comfort and encouragement can be found in words over and over again, especially words from your friends.  Here are a few quote from this book that I want to post on a sticky-note and wear it on my head. Or write it on a t-shirt.  Whatever.


"Our limitation is God's opportunity"

"I'm just a nobody trying to tell everybody about a Somebody who can save anybody."

"What must befall thee must befall thee, and what will pass ye by will pass ye by."

All three of these quotes come from Denver Moore in the story.  He is a true-life character who came from Louisiana cotton fields to being homeless in Ft. Worth Texas.  His attitude and perspective on life is AMAZING.  He is wise and his words put my life and my silly worries in perspective!  Thank you Elena for letting me borrow this book!

And afterall, we are all the "same kind of different." Think about it!

come on in

He doesn't know those words

God has been challenging me lately to trust and rely completely on him.  It is lesson we have been working at for quite some time now and I still haven't learned it.  Will I ever?  I love Him so much, but it's just so difficult sometimes to feel "good enough." 

Enough.  Am I enough? Am I doing enough?  Did I try hard enough?  Did I care enough?  Did I give enough?

As a perfectionist I am constantly worrying over being the best I can be, my best self, etc.  Last night I talked to mom about my anxiety about being enough.  I said, Momma, I just worry that God is saying to me, "more. that's not good enough." 

She said, "Baby, he doesn't know those words."

So whatever it is in YOUR life, however big or small, significant or insignificant, trivial or travesty, whatever it is that you are beating yourself up about not having done enough, just let it go.  And ground yourself in his love and hope unswervingly.

Because we will never be "enough."  We will never fill ourselves up, no matter how hard we try.  If I make those cookies it will not be enough, if I call a sick friend it will not be enough, if i get a job, get a husband, get a car, get a pool, learn French and paint like Monet, it still won't be enough. 

We won't fill ourselves up because that is a job only God can do. 

4th

Happy Fourth of JULY ! Its been one year since Kurt and I got engaged and now we are married.  What a year.  It has been such a blessing, every minute of it.  I am so lucky and blessed by the loving people we have in our lives and it feels so good to be back home where it all started.  I love y'all!  God has blessed us in so many ways. 

peter panning it

What I have learned about Growing Up THIS week:

1. When one recieves important notices from one's university one should not slam the computer shut, eat oneself a piece of Dove Chocolate, and move to the other room to avoid looking at one's computer.

2.  One should not keep one's cap and gown.  The University will notice and send unkind emails.

3.  Whether or not chicken is cooked COVERED is apparently an important detail, unless one likes his or her chicken  burnt to a crisp.

4.  Less baking soda = flat banana bread (I like to call them banana pancakes)

5.  One should double check which location of the restaurant when planning breakfast dates.  If one is not careful two people can end up at two different locations of the same restaurant.

I won't grow up.

bigness

How great is our God, sing with me now, how great is our God kept playing through my head as Kurt and I traveled down the Northern California coast.  From the redwood forrest to the coast line, everything was big.

Bigness seems to be a theme lately.  I feel like a "big girl" paying bills and ironing my own clothes.  I guess that probably should have happened a while back, especially on the ironing front, but like everything else "growing up" is a gradual process. And I am still processing it.

Kurt, I am finding, is bigger than me.  Older, louder, warmer, requires more food, reaches taller, moves faster, walks further, lifts heavier things, shuts doors with more force, throws down the car keys, and treads not so lightly. I don't want to sound like I am complaining.  If you want me to complain, I would pick another battle. (just kidding, sort of)  But no, bigger is how God made him, and for a reason too. 

But next to the ocean and next to the trees he looked like one man. 

To know that a big God created all of this made my worries look small.  Sometimes when I feel the smallest I feel the most relief. When the world feels on my shoulders I am going to remember these trees. Because, as it turns out, the God who made trees 300 ft tall and 13 feet wide has it under control.  Sight seeing in Northern Cal was not life changing, but life affirming.

And Tonight I made a small dinner, but it was a big step for me. 

Em